Rip & Burns’ DVD Review: The Covenant

This has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Its about a group of teenage lads from this town in New England who are all related to witches. They have this cool power which can kill them if they use it so they try not to use it too much. How much fun is that? For the first bit, they just cruise around doing teenage-type things like drinking in bars, dancing, fighting, arguing etc. But then you begin to notice a couple of things: why, for example, are all the blokes ripped; why are they always wearing vests or naked in the showers; why does the camera pan away or fade out every time one of the lads kisses a girl? Yes, it was a gay movie. Apart from that, there was no action or plot just loads of talk about the Power and how it was going to rule at some stage. At the end, another rent boy who looked like Pete Doherty on steroids steps up and gets his butt kicked, just as I was about to do the same to the TV. The Power is, basically, just bubbles of transparent stuff that they fire at each other when not pouting.
After the debacles that were Cutthroat Island, Deep Blue Sea and Cliffhanger, you’d think Rene Harlin would know by now when he’s making a stinker. It just goes to show that the old adage that ‘you’re only as good as your last film’ is inaccurate. In this movie’s case, make that wildly inaccurate.

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